Looking Back at The First 59 Days of The Pandemic
Credit: Kelly Sikkema | @kellysikkema
I heard the word coronavirus for the first time while on a team conference call last February and naively didn't think much of it. I've worked in the travel industry long enough to experience my fair share of crisis situations, having learned that staying calm under pressure is key to navigating complex workplace scenarios. As the days continued and the virus began spreading to other countries, the words covid and coronavirus began dominating both my work and personal conversations. We were all still living our busy lives, but there was a certain hesitancy I could feel beginning to thicken in the air around us.
Shortly after the first case in our state was reported, schools and businesses began shutting down. Suddenly, I was thrown into a life that I wasn't the least bit ready for, a full-time working mom to a 3.5-year-old who was now home with me while I struggled fiercely to "get it all done." My phone rang at all hours of the day and night as travel restrictions mounted and borders were closed. I grappled with the guilt of trying to be fully present with my son and continue meeting the expectations of my work, all while residing within the same walls of my home every day.
Like many other moms, I'm driven by schedules and routines. I've never been a fan of working from home and find comfort in my calculated regiment of dropping my son off at school and heading to the office at the same time each day. So, very early on, like so many of us, I struggled to find our new normal. I began waking up even earlier than I was used to, to cram a few hours into the workday before the rest of the house became rowdy. I navigated the guilt of turning to the television as a babysitter for hours and cried when my son started to imitate me using a laptop at our coffee table. It had only been a few days, and I already felt like I was breaking. I couldn't wait to get back to our normal lives. Little did I know, life would be far from normal for quite a while.
For two months, I worked non-stop while attempting to parent. Weekends blended into weekdays, as I used them to catch up on work and keep our household afloat. My husband and I tackled each day like we were heading into war, switching off every hour on the hour, depending on whose workload could handle the brunt of that particular battle. There just weren't enough hours in the day to get it all done. I felt like I was failing daily at work and home.
On our 59th day at home, my phone rang. I was furloughed from my full-time role for the entire summer. I cried out of both happiness and a sense of loss. It was bittersweet. I knew that we couldn't maintain the pace at which we were going and that it would likely still be a few months until schools opened again, and for that, I was thankful for the time off. I also knew the road ahead wouldn't be easy.
The pandemic severely impacted the travel industry, and I found myself wondering if the break would really be temporary. I had no idea when travel would resume and how that might affect my career. Aside from a short maternity leave when my son was born, I had spent the last fifteen years working and growing within my field, and now my thoughts raced. How would we handle the loss of income, and would we need to cut back financially or use our savings if I was out of work for a substantial period of time?
I also wondered how my family would adjust to this new life we were all trying to absorb in a matter of days, weeks, and months. After abruptly being pulled from his school environment and thrust into the walls of his playroom with no real structure, my son had already begun to act out. His sleeping was off, and he repeatedly asked us, "when will people stop being sick?" It broke my heart. And while my son and I were about to have a lot more time together, I also wondered how I would adjust. Having previously lived by the appointments and meetings in my google calendar, I wasn't sure how I would handle being a newly minted stay-at-home mom. It wasn't like heading to the zoo, or visiting museums were outings that were readily available to us in the current environment. I knew that I was going to have to figure out a way to keep us all happy and sane at the same time.
Over the first few days, these thoughts kept me up at night as we slowly started to find a new routine. We spent the summer on the beach, exploring new hikes, visiting outdoor story-times, eating ice cream for dinner, and learning to swim. It was a summer that I'll never forget and one that I'll appreciate even more as I've returned to work part-time.
I'm just starting to emerge on the other side of this tumultuous year. Reflecting on the first 59 days isn't always easy, but I've found that the circumstances we've encountered have made me more patient and understanding of change. All of my fears about adjusting to the loss of schedules, income, and trying to find purpose in a world lacking any normalcy, started to subside once I realized that I really didn't have control over the changes. Life is far from back to normal, but I'm thankful to have co-workers and friends who have understood the emotions, struggles, and triumphs associated with the past year. If it weren't for their daily texts and calls, the road would not have been as smooth. While the silver linings of the pandemic have been few and far between, the perseverance I've developed in my career and as a mom throughout this past year has taught me that I have a community behind me and the power to pivot when needed.
